on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
