Someone shit on the floor
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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