You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize
