i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
