Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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