do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
