brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
