I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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