I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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