It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
