just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
