check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
