I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
