New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Can you bring me the toilet please
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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