The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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