it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize
