i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
