Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
