Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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