i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
