Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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