While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
