What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
