Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
