planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
As shirtless as possible
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
