I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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