I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize