I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
