no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
