Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
