Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
