i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize