I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
