i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
