nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
is it fun? or sober?
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