He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
