I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
