is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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