well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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