Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
