Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
