no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
accomplished twins. life is a go
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
