i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
