oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
