she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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