just come out here and I will go home with you...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
