The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize