You're completely useless in the revolution.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
