3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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