The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
