Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How external is "for external use only"?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
