I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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