WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize