I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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