Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
3 2 1 whiskey
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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