Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
