Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I pour the whiskey from now on
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
