Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she smelled like a LAN party
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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