Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
