erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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