He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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