Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
