we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
