Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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