I think I just saw someone hide a body.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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