Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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