hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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