I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
