He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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