for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
