I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
