I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize