omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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