I cockslap morals
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
