Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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