One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
