I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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